simulation 001; video

[i_run_you_chase]

[here, have a video. It's a smiling, pleasant-looking man in his mid thirties. He has the calm air of someone who has practiced saying this into the camera a few times.]

Hello, everyone. My name is Jarod DiCaprio, and I've recently taken post on board this ship along with a few new wardens. I'll begin serving on board staring just about---[he looks at his watch]---now. That's a good time to start, I think.

I look forward to meeting everyone, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Comments

guess who can read!

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Son of a bitch.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Actually, I never knew my mother so it's not very fair to blame her.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Hell, she's just as good a target as anybody. Welcome to the Barge, by the way.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

And what a welcome it's been.

I assume you're here to threaten me, too? It appears to be the standard form of greeting.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking about it. I'm leaning towards threatening at the moment, but the option of just finding you and punching you in the face is getting better and better.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Does it have to be the face? I think Denise already called that. You might want to aim for my left kidney, though. I've got a slight tear in it from my time as a kickboxer, so a good solid knee to it would probably cause me to urinate blood.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

No, I'm thinking the face. After all, if Denise has already punched you there then my punch would probably hurt more.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Actually, the nerve centers tend to dull after multiple punches. If she's strong enough to break something, it might even go numb from the pain. Your best bet is to hit a vital organ that'll cause long-term damage.

Have you considered punching the lower abdominal area? A ruptured intestinal tract would keep me miserable for weeks.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Or here, I could kick you in the kneecap. It always hurt when I got shot there.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Make sure you kick forward, though. If you kick to the side, I might end up with a bruise, but a kick forward is more likely to shatter the kneecap and leave me crippled!

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

God, this would be so much easier if I had a gun.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

But infinitely less satisfying, I'm sure. The physical nature of a punch or kick releases the endorphins and causes the overall euphoria.

Though if the sensation of shooting is what you prefer, I'm sure I could acquire a paintball gun for you.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

It's just that I haven't had a hand to hand fight in ages.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

I tried being a fighter once, but it didn't work out. I could try my hand at being a punching bag, if it would make you feel better.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

That works for me.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I'll be ready afterwards. Say, two hours from now?

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

That works for me.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

I'll see you then.

that actually happened to Libby last port, she had major surgery & was in the infirmary for weeks xD

[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

You say that like it's no big deal.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Well, if he's looking to injure me, it's really important that he makes the most of the hits he can take.

[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

If it actually happens to you, you'll regret ever joking about it. Trust me.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

Why would I joke about this?