Jarod

[here, have a video. It's a smiling, pleasant-looking man in his mid thirties. He has the calm air of someone who has practiced saying this into the camera a few times.]

Hello, everyone. My name is Jarod DiCaprio, and I've recently taken post on board this ship along with a few new wardens. I'll begin serving on board staring just about---[he looks at his watch]---now. That's a good time to start, I think.

I look forward to meeting everyone, and I hope to hear from you soon.