i_run_you_chase | simulation 002; voice

Yes.

[Parker looked down quickly, and then flicked off the camera. He doesn't get to see her tear up, damn it.]

Jarod looked at the blank video screen for a few moments, and then at the door. He flipped off his communicator. Exactly 67 seconds later, Miss Parker will hear a knock at her door.

[Parker did not expect the knock on her door, at all. After she had turned off the video feed, she had gotten out of bed and had paced across her floor, angry with herself for turning off the feed and even angrier with herself for having turned it on in the first place. For a moment she didn't want to open it because there was no doubt who it could be. There was a pause before she decided that she wasn't going to hide from him. Quick, angry swipes were made at her eyes and her cheeks before she opened the door quickly.]

House calls now?

[Jarod stands there, not entirely certain why he walked over here. First of all, Miss Parker is now probably aware that he's living on the same floor as she is. And also, he lacks in the control he had over their conversations]

[But still, there he is.]

I thought you might not want to be alone.

[Parker tensed. She tensed and she nearly slammed the door quickly shut in his face. Her fingers tightened around the door as if she was going to do it before she took a step back. The step back and the relinquished grip on the doorway was an invitation inside, and it was probably the only one he was going to get. Her bedroom was like the one at home, the silver framed photos of her mother and Thomas were on her night stand, and leaned against one wall (but not put up) was the stained glass window that he had made.]

[he steps inside and takes in the room, looking almost surprised as he does]

They made it like your home.

[Having Jarod in her bedroom is odd and unfamiliar and uncomfortable in the fact that it's not uncomfortable enough. She doesn't know what to say for a moment.]

Yeah. [She scoffs] My room, my closest, my bathroom without the shower. It's all a part of being a damn rehabilitation ship.

[Curiosity overwhelmed her. She had noticed the change of door on her floor, but with the influx of people, she hadn't suspected it was Jarod's.] So they stuck you on the floor too, did they?

I hadn't realized they did this. [he steps over to her lamp and runs his finger across the shade]

My room is like one of the many motels I lived in. I guess that's because I never had a home.

Apparently it's supposed to be where you're most familiar or something. That's what Katie told me. [Parker watched him touch her lamp and she had an entirely irrational impulse to go over and snatch it away from him. She didn't, instead she turned in the other direction and poured herself a drink.]

Cry me a river. [Yes, that was Parker, covering her insecurities with sarcasm.

[he circles the room as she pours herself that drink]

I'm surprised they allow inmates alcohol and cigarettes.

[She rolled her eyes at that.]

Denise lets me do whatever I want. And I do a fair amount of drinking with wardens.

[A beat.]

Do you want one?

Very thin lines between who's a prisoner and who's a guard in this place.

[he steps behind her and looks over her shoulder at the drink]

Does it make you feel better?

[Parker laughs at that, and there's a darkness in it.]

You'd be surprised.

If I say yes are you going to call me an alcoholic? Tell me to quit?

And if I told you that you were, would you listen to me and quit?

[the very mild amusement in his voice says that he doesn't think so]

Of course not.

[Parker turned to face him, the drink in her hand.]

Maybe I should tell you that; you'd probably leave a bottle of scotch on my pillow.

I imagine you're probably a really crabby drunk.

[since she's turned to face him, she's a good deal closer than he expected, and he takes half a step back before he can really stop himself]

You know, Thomas won't want to be out there without you. If you make that deal, he'll be alone, and with the Centre on his trail.

[When he took a step back, Parker took one as well, increasing the distance between them.]

If I make the deal, [she said sharply, earnestly] then Thomas never would have met me; he wouldn't need to worry about the Centre on his tail. He can have a nice normal life with a nice little girl and have a goddamn dog and two-point-five nice normal children.

He didn't want a nice little girl, Miss Parker.

[he gives her a small, affectionate smile] He wanted you.

[Parker's voice was getting loud and it was getting angry and more than anything she wished she had her god damn sunglasses on.]

And look where that got him, Jarod! Look where it got those people who were involved with the investigation!

And you're going to let yourself die in order to make up for something that---

[he stops, because he can't tell her what he knows]

[Jarod tries again, a little more calmly] You deserve to live. If you ask the Admiral for enough time for you to get from the car to the hospital, you could live.

God damn it, Jarod, I've died all right? Let it fucking go. It's been a goddamn year, get over it already.

I'd live and what? Go back to Lyle and Raines? Go back to deal with all of that?

Whether you agree with it or not, Jarod, I made my choices and I made my fucking mistakes. I knew what the Centre was when I made my deal to get out.

Tommy... [Parker's voice broke and she turned away. She didn't want to cry in front of him.] He deserved better than that. He deserved better than a Centre bullet in his brain because of me.

Edited 2010-08-07 09:08 (UTC)

Live and start over. Live and be the person you've wanted to be. You can find out why your mother died, you can stay away from the Centre.

Thomas loved you. He would want you to live over him. He would never have blamed you for what happened.

[Jarod points to his own temple and adds, softly] If anyone knows, it's me.

Don't talk about him, Jarod. You didn't meet him, you didn't know him. Thomas was a good man. He was the one thing in my life separate from all of this. [She gestured between them, because there was this, and then there was the Centre and Thomas was separate from all of that. She had wanted that normal life so much... But she couldn't.]

You know my father would never let that happen, Jarod.

[after 1.34 seconds worth of thought, he decides not to push it with Thomas again. Especially when he didn't really come here to antagonize her]

So you'd rather be dead than run from your father?

Why do you care so much about this, Jarod? They'll still put someone else on your tail even if it's not me. It doesn't mean you wouldn't not need to run anymore. All it means is that you wouldn't know me.

[video]

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