simulation 002; voice

[i_run_you_chase]

[Private to Miss Parker]

[it is 3:18 am]

[Jarod will be holding up his walkman with the recorded sound of a phone ringing to the communicator]

Comments

[yourunichase]

I'm sure you're going to tell me anyway.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

I don't have to. I can always leave.

[yourunichase]

[Parker sighed and rolled her eyes.] Oh for fuck's sake, just tell me your theory.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

You feel guilty for all of these things that've happened in your life. Guilty for things like Thomas's murder. Your mother's death. Even now, me being captured by the Centre. They're not your fault.

[he takes a step towards her] You need to forgive yourself.

[yourunichase]

Oh please. I don't need to forgive myself. I didn't have control over most of those things and Tommy's death happened after I had been here. I was here and then I was sent home and then there was that year and I came back after I was shot.

And Tommy is my fault. I knew what would happen, Jarod. I knew and I was too stupid to stop it.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[he looks a little disbelieving at her assessment]

So why do you think you're here?

[yourunichase]

Because this is a giant fucking cosmic joke. The one person who I thought for sure would think I deserved to be here doesn't think I should.

What the hell?

[She laughed a miserable-sounding tone and she took a drink of the glass that she had been rolling around between her hands.]

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[She laughs and Jarod looks down to his drink and sighs, then steps over and puts it on her side table]

I should go, I'm clearly not helping.

[yourunichase]

So how do you see this going, Jarod? Do you see me being redeemed and riding off into the goddamn sunset?

[She didn't look up from her drink, and her voice was soft, it was soft in tone and it was soft in volume.]

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[He stops from his retreat, but doesn't turn around. His voice is equally soft.]

I want you back in the world you belong in, Miss Parker.

But if I have to decide to change my bargain to saving your life, or finding my family...

[yourunichase]

Don't, Jarod. Don't even think of trading me for your family. I'll find you and shoot you anyway.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[He looks back at her, and he gives her a sad smile]

I got used to saving people who wouldn't save themselves.

[and he turns back and takes another step towards the door]

[yourunichase]

Christ you are a fucking idiot.

[Parker got up quickly and she grabbed him, pulling her towards herself before she shoved him away.]

That's not what this is about. I don't want to go back and deal with all of the horrible shit that I need to do in order to do my job to get out.

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[Jarod goes with the shove, not bothering to fight back, only just to balance and keep himself from falling over or into something in the room]

So you'd rather stay dead. Stay in a place you think is like hell because you don't want to deal with it.

[yourunichase]

Go to hell, Jarod. [Parker spat the words at him quickly, and she just took a step back.]

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[Jarod stands there and thinks, just for a moment, about what she just said to him. It takes him a minute to translate it, and he looks at her, stunned]

You don't want to turn me in. You don't want to catch me for you freedom.

[yourunichase]

[Parker just stared at him, and she didn't say anything.]

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[There were a lot of things Jarod expected out of Miss Parker, but that sort of an admittance wasn't one of them. His entire world feels like it's just been severely rocked.]

[He takes a step towards her and opens his mouth as if he's about to say something, then turns on his heel and heads for the door]

[yourunichase]

[Parker didn't say anything to him, she didn't stop him, she just grabbed a cigarette and lit it.]

[i-run-you-chase.livejournal.com]

[And out the door boy genius goes. He shuts it behind himself and stops, leaning on it briefly as he tries to do the mental equivalent of catching his breath.]